contradicting*

is there any value to an empty love?
hmm perhaps there is perhaps not? i'm clueless. sigh is it a mistake to fallen for someone whom i shouldn't?
*vexed* well, but i will just be waiting no matter what. hais but the feeling of being loved is good but..
loving someone is a misery and pain to me. i'm really feeling so depressed. unsure of my own feelings..
at times i just simply hates myself to the core, can't help just fucking feel like punching myself.. slapping myself. i need him but the more i WANT him. but it's impossible between us.
argh seriously, maybe i'm just decieving myself, i just wanna pretend to be happy and stuff. but eventually i'm not. simply hiding everything deep beneath me. things are just bottling me up. *devastated*
life is so meaningless. feel like leaving this world.. freaking tired of living sometimes,
i fucking can't face the reality. i'm really very sad. but no one seems to understands me..
i don't feel the love anymore:(